Bluemerle

What is it with dentists? Why are they always putting pointy hooky things in my mouth, trying to pry out my fillings?
Yeah right, buddy, that filling is loose NOW.

It could be worse. I could need four fricking root canals. As it is, a long period of dental neglect has resulted only in me needing some ancient fillings replaced, which I would have needed even if I went to the dentist every damn day of my life. Ha! I'm on to your game. Ok, I do have one actual cavity.

I'm going to this new dentist with a Waterlase® dental laser. It's mostly useless for my head full of crumbling amalgam, but at least the kid gets off easy.

I've heard it's good for root canals and for making resin fillings last longer. I knew I needed the latter and was bracing for the former.

I'm afraid of two things - spiders, and dentists. Only one is squashable. The other is avoidable. I've been doing that since I won't reveal when. I have the fear.

Blame Dr. Shockett. (when I think of that name, it kind of echoes in my head: Shockett- Shockett - Shockett -Shockett)

He was the irrascible Ben Casey of dentists, dark and hairy-armed, with thick swarthy thumbs.

He seemed to like lots of his little patients; the cute, good little girls and boys with perfect teeth, inevitably in the exam chair next to mine. Take two toys fom the box, Cindy/Bobby/Marcia/Greg!

He hated my guts. He hated me and my sister and brother. Maybe it has something to do with the bill, I don't know.

To me, he would growl "If you don't shut up and stop crying I'm going to give you a shot!" "Nurse, hold her down." "No toy for you!" What I hated the most was the lecturing and scolding and the constant judging of my innocent mouth. I leave many horrors to your imagination. The last time I saw him I was twelve, after which I refused to ever see him again. I had come in to have extractions for my braces, which were not difficult themselves; but he was a horror, enjoying himself immensly. The blood ran.
He relieved my anxiety with his usual chit-chat: "Heh. Looks like someone slit your throat."

My new dentist has the cool laser, one of only two in town The other guy runs a hepatitis hut with dirty carpets and sloppy staff.
NewDoc has a Nazi tech, which is a bad sign, and has that brusque and sullen manner only years prying parts out of stinky gaping maws could cultivate.

He said three words directly to me during my exam.
"Does that hurt?" he said, surprising me with a good hard poke in the masseter . Why, yes. Yes it does.

My husband's dentist has drills from like, 1849, but they treat him like gold - because they have to, I guess. Oh lord of teeth and the fuzzy tongue, please bring me a friendly happy dentist with a $70,000 drill.

More whine of the drill coming soon